| Like many people in today's hectic world,
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| | if you go this route.Listen to soothing
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| I've been blessed with recurring
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| | music:
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| insomnia. For most, this condition would
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| | Again, this is a great idea in theory --
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| be a liability; as a writer, it's
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| | but one person's 'soothing' is another
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| actually quite useful. I pen more
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| | person's... well, Hootie and the
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| gibberish after three am than most people
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| | Blowfish, for instance. Sure, their music
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| do... well, ever, to be fair.But
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| | is soft and lilting, but 'easy
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| eventually, all good sleepless nights
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| | listening', my sleep-deprived ass. My
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| must come to an end. So I've tried a few
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| | ears would find steel-wool Q-tips more
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| ways to bring on the snoozes, when
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| | 'soothing' than that audiodrivel.
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| counting sheep just won't do. Feel free
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| | Luckily, any music can soothe the
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| to use any or all of the techniques below
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| | insomnial beast, so long as it's played
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| -- just make sure you're really ready to
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| | softly enough. Sometimes, Rage Against
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| hit the sack. This is powerful medicine;
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| | the Machine at three-and-a-half decibels
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| proceed with caution.Drink a glass of
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| | -- or Nine Inch Nails, at a volume only
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| warm milk:
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| | dogs can hear -- is just what the sleep
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| Generally, this doesn't work, of course.
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| | doctor ordered.Exercise:
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| It seems to be some sort of old wives'
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| | Frankly, I've only tried this method
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| tale. What old wives have against the
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| | once. I get the idea -- the physical
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| rest of us enjoying a night's rest, I
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| | activity, late at night, should sap
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| don't know, but drinking a full glass of
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| | whatever energy your body has remaining,
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| lukewarm moo juice will leave you
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| | and let you slip sweetly off to
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| bleary-eyed and milkstached, but not
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| | dreamland. Fine. But remember, your
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| particularly drowsy. Still, you've got to
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| | hand-eye coordination and reflexes won't
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| start somewhere. And you can always
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| | be up to par, after staying awake for
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| graduate to a nice, warm glass of milk
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| | hours past your bedtime. And it can be
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| and coconut rum -- hold the milk. That'll
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| | rather embarrassing to explain to the
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| put you to sleep, but you'd better be
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| | ambulance crew how you backhanded
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| sure to cancel those morning meetings the
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| | yourself down a flight of stairs, doing
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| next day.Read a book:
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| | jumping jacks at four in the morning.
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| This is great, if you happen to have
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| | EMTs can be so cruel sometimes.Watch
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| 'The Bridges of Madison County' lying
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| | LifeTime:
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| around, or you keep 'Principles of
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| | No, really. Anything on LifeTime. The
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| Organic Chemistry' on your nightstand.
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| | Oxygen network works, too. Or the Golf
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| It's somewhat less effective if the
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| | Channel. Or any shopping network --
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| closest book handy is 'The Amityville
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| | unless you're one of those people with a
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| Horror', or an audiobook from the Steven
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| | shopping problem, of course. You're not
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| King 'Rabid Machete Zombies' collection.
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| | doing anyone any good, lying there on the
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| Instead of sleeping, you might spend the
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| | couch for three hours ordering
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| night hiding under the covers, hoping
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| | commemorative Jackson trial dinner
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| that the creaking outside your window is
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| | plates. But short of that, this is
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| just the wind. Of course, those of us who
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| | clearly the way to go. There are hundreds
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| are truly proficient with insomnia don't
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| | of channels out there; surely, you can
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| have to worry so much -- we're not going
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| | find one that'll put you to sleep. You
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| to bed until after dawn, anyway, so
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| | call them 'DirecTV', but I'm calling them
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| there's no 'dark' for bogeymen to go
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| | 'Sandman'. Don't let the bed bugs
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| 'bump' in. Still, it's not such a good
| |
| | bite!Charlie Hatton is an overzealous
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| idea to seed your dreams with the
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| | blogger and aspiring standup comedian
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| horrific imagery that today's writers can
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| | offering smart, sophisticated humor about
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| dream up. There's sleeping, and then
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| | life, language, and the size of his
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| there's 'unconscious night sweating'.
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| | naughty bits. He writes semi-daily and
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| Stick to the textbooks and tearjerkers,
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| | mostly randomly at Where the Hell Was I?
|
