Welcome to Rainbow City Alabama


Fear of Being Outsourced? Fight Back

Me, outsourced? Impossible. How could theyWelcome to our show.""What is it about doing
replace a business-humor columnist? But mybusiness with Americans that you find most
brother-in-law, the radiologist, told me hisintriguing or disconcerting?" I asked."A
hospital was threatening to cut his positiongreat question," the talk show host realized
because they had found a medical group out ofhe had an issue that could generate some
India that would read MRIs at half thecontroversy. "Mr. Hesh, why not hold on as we
cost.He warned me, "Hesh, don't be so smug.let our callers respond."The first caller
No one is indispensable in today's worldbegan, "Mr. Hesh, you Americans have such a
economy."He was right. I had become blasé.childish belief system. You expect every
I needed to diversify and find readersproblem to be solvable. Our culture has
outside the USA, especially in the boomingtaught us the inevitability of misfortune. I
call-centers of India.Do Indians find ourwant to say to callers, 'Sorry, Mrs. Grady,
business customs humorous? I decided to doyour hard drive is forever broken and can
some research. I called the IBM help desk. Inever be repaired. Please unplug it and
asked the technician where he was located. Hegrieve for the next 10 minutes.' But, I am
said "Birmingham, Alabama," and he said itnot allowed."The second caller said. "We are
with pride.I asked for his boss. I told herobligated to try to sell you a software
that I wanted to be helped by someone inupgrade with each call. We think that this is
Bombay. "What? I usually get the oppositevery inhospitable. In our culture when
requests," she blurted out.I told her that Isomeone calls for help, one must never try to
found their staff people in India to be moregain an advantage from another's adversity.
helpful and courteous. And I found theirBut we are taught that this is what makes you
English easier to comprehend compared to theAmericans so wealthy."The producer asked me
southern accents from Birmingham.Withinto call again. He had dozens of local callers
seconds, I was talking to Bombay. Afterwaiting to talk to me. Before I knew it I was
spending a few minutes on a fictitiousa radio personality in India with my own
problem, I asked my help-support person whatmorning business call-in show.Now, I visit
he found humorous about working withIndia almost twice a month. I am a regular
Americans.He said, "Sir, it would becommentator on their TV morning shows and a
inappropriate for me to comment on yousought-after lecturer at business
Americans and your business practices."I keptconferences.The travel back and forth is
on digging. "You must be frustrated spendingbrutal even in first class. Plus, because of
eight hours a day listening to us Americans.the time difference I have to be wide awake
How do you blow off steam?He suggested I callfrom 2 a.m to 5 a.m to take the calls from my
a business radio talk show in Bombay whereaudience. Why I am actually considering
the locals call in with their problems ofmoving to India permanently.Somehow the
working with westerners. It was called "Can Igovernor found out about my impending move (I
Speak to your Supervisor, Please."Using mybet it was from my mother) and he called
computer I was able to find a real cheapasking that I not take my business overseas.
Internet-phone line to Bombay, and I called.It would be a terrible loss to our region's
The radio show's producer doubted my veracityimage.He had funds to help businesses keep
when I told him I was calling from the USA.jobs here. I would qualify for an
He thought it was a crank call. But when heeconomic-development grant if I did not
listened to my accent - half Pittsburgh andrelocate. I guess it is like paying farmers
the other half Brooklyn - he knew no Indiannot to plant corn. (Do they still do that?)I
could impersonate that dialect.He reminded mecalled my brother-in-law with my good news,
to use only my first name, when beingand said, "I told you going to medical school
interviewed. The talk show host began, "Ourwas a poor career choice. You should have
next caller is a Mister Hesh from the USA. Wemajored in English, like I did."Hesh Reinfeld
are very lucky to have an overseas caller.writes a syndicated business humor column.



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